The Order of the Snark

Yesterday was a rough day, in no small part because my roommate Christine decided to have a bit of a power trip at the expense of me and my other roommate, Lavina. The three of us had originally planned to go see the midnight showing of The Order of the Phoenix together (see my review at my LJ), and on the day of the show, Christine emailed us to ask if we could reschedule. Boston's mass transit closes at 12:30 a.m., and Christine's the only one with a car, so we were really dependent on her for transportation to and from the event. She seemed surprised and hurt when Lavina and I both independently told her that no, we were still very interested in going, and she was unresponsive and/or hostile when we asked if we could borrow her car so that we could still go to see the film (she's offered to let us borrow her car on numerous other occasions, and I don't think either one of us has ever taken her up on it).

She finally called Lavina back at 5 p.m., telling her that it was fine with her if we borrowed her car, but she was pretty passive-aggressive about it. We got home to an email from her that was a bit of a power-play, stating that while we were welcome to use her car we needed to be very careful with it and she would be "very put out" if it wasn't available to her the next morning. Both Lavina and I were like, wtf?

I sent an email back, stating that we wouldn't be needing her car after all, so there should be no worries about being very put out or missing her morning arrangements. Snarky, yes, but mildly so - and I felt she deserved it, honestly, for pulling the rug out from under us at the last minute, which is just thoughtless and rude.

Fortunately, Lavina came up with a plan: we'd see the midnight movie and then crash at her boyfriend's place, which was within walking distance of the theater. We didn't need to take a taxi home at all, just take a change of clothes and take the T the next morning. I'm back at work this morning, still dizzy and blissful from the HP goodness.

And yet I feel a little sad that I let myself get manipulated by someone's thoughtlessness, that I *reacted* to it instead of responding to it, and that I did so immediately. It's such a strong connection to my interactions with my Dad, and it's frustrating that it's still such an omnipresent part of my life. I felt very satisfied with my snark last night, but today I feel like it comes from the part of me that still feels like a victim, still feels put upon, still can't express disagreement without feeling resentment or anger. And I regret it for that reason.